More from the Tulsa World

Bullying is no longer a subjective term in Oklahoma. A bill signed into law by Gov. Mary Fallin gives a definition and mandates to the state Department of Education to do something about it. “Bullying is not joking between two peers of equal power,” said Steve Hahn, program manager at the Parent Child Center of Tulsa, who has expertise in bullying. “Bullying involves an imbalance of power. It is done to harass, intimidate or intentionally harm. It has physical, emotional and social repercussions. It’s not accidental. It’s a pattern.” House Bill 1661, which amends the School Safety and Bullying Prevention Act, will become effective Nov. 1. Read the full story

A big thanks to Prevent Child Abuse America for this content!

Tornado Resources –  2013 

APA Help Center

• Managing Traumatic Stress: After the Tornadoes

http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/tornadoes.aspx

• Tornadoes, Hurricanes, and Children

http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/tornadoes-kids.aspx

APA

• Building Your Resilience

http://www.apapracticecentral.org/outreach/building-resilience.aspx

Red Cross

• Recovering Emotionally

http://www.redcross.org/find-help/disaster-recovery/recovering-emotionally

Red Cross/FEMA

• Helping Children Cope with Disaster

http://www.fema.gov/pdf/library/children.pdf

http://publications.usa.gov/USAPubs.php?PubID=3321

Centers for Disease Control Emergency Preparedness and Response

• Tornadoes

http://www.bt.cdc.gov/disasters/tornadoes/

Ready.gov. Federal Emergency Management Agency

• Tornadoes

http://www.fema.gov/hazard/tornado/index.shtm

• Coping with Disaster

http://www.ready.gov/coping-with-disaster

Every parent envisions the day when they bring their child home. We all read parenting books and attempt to prepare ourselves for the “life changing” event that is coming. However, no one explains how you are supposed to deal, cope, handle, adapt or even function when your child cries morning, noon and night. My daughter cried, screamed and wailed all the time, which is an understatement, no matter what I did for her. I would hold her, put her in her swing or on her play mat, etc. and nothing stopped her from crying. I took her to the pediatrician four times in the first two weeks of her life because this couldn’t be normal behavior right? I tried to explain that due to her weight loss and behavior that I assumed that I wasn’t producing enough to feed her and their answer was “breast is best.” I kept trying for 4 weeks and she only slept for two hours all day (NOT exaggerating)!!! She would literally wear herself out because of how miserable she was (I was right there with her) and that was all the down time I had with her. I never slept, never had any time to care for myself i.e. shower, eat or get out of the house. During those four weeks, I started an anti-depressant because I couldn’t stop crying, feeling like a failure as a parent, and wishing we didn’t have children. No one believes that they would ever harm their child, especially an infant, but trust me, there were many times in the first month of non-stop crying that I had to walk away, take a breath and calm myself and then resume caring for her. After her 7th doctor visit, the doctors advised me to try formula and medication for the acid re-flux which made all the difference in the world. Things changed dramatically and she is a blessing that I wouldn’t give up for the world.

Advice to parents with stories similar to mine: Parenting is the hardest job there is and it never ends; however, it is one of the most rewarding. Be patient  and as long as they are changed, fed and safe (such as in their crib) take time to breathe, think and remember the positives they have brought to your life as opposed to focusing on the negatives (which is easier said than done) but in the end it is worth it.

-MRG

This is why in Tulsa and many cities around the country an education program to families on normal infant crying and the dangers of shaking a baby is in place. Parents and caregivers that have high criers and have tried everything to calm their baby may feel like they are failing at parenting. This is not the case; some babies in the first few months of life cry a lot. At The Parent Child Center of Tulsa we use The Period of Purple Crying® to educate new families before leaving the hospital about the potential for long crying bouts where the baby may resist soothing. We provide soothing tips and let parents know it is okay to put the baby in a safe place for a few minutes and take a break to calm themselves. A nurse said recently “When in doubt, walk out.”

I often hear on my visits that I would never shake my baby or I don’t know how someone could do this. The truth is that every year in the United States about 1200-1400 babies are shaken. In Oklahoma  during the 2011 fiscal year there were 66 Abusive Head Trauma/Shaken Baby allegations. Of those, 33 were confirmed.

Shaken Baby Syndrome is a collection of injuries that a child sustains from being violently shaken. This is not due to accidental handling such as  bouncing a baby on a knee, tossing a toddler in the air,  falls off couch, etc. These can injure a baby or toddler but they will  not sustain the same injuries as when shaken. When these shaking injuries occur  massive brain damage is the result. A child that has been shaken may have immediate symptoms of lethargy, difficulty eating, difficulty breathing, irritability , seizures, loss of consciousness, and go into a coma (immediate medical attention is required). If a child survives they may suffer from disabilities such as cerebral palsy, have learning difficulties, behavior problems, blindness, paralysis, or seizure disorder. About 25% of children shaken die from their injuries.

The majority of children shaken are less than 6 months of age. This follows the peak crying time as described in The Period of Purple Crying®. All babies cry, some cry more than others. Starting at about 2 weeks of age all babies increase the amount they cry until about 2 months of age when it peaks. The crying then decreases and tapers off around 4 months of age. These long bouts of crying can be very frustrating for a caregiver. It is frustrating because parents and caregivers want to figure out why the baby is crying and fix it. If it can’t be fixed then a parent or caregiver may feel kike they are a bad parent, or they have a bad baby. This is not the case. All parents feel frustrated with their children from time to time and some babies just cry more than others.

Statistics say that 70% of perpetrators are men; usually the biological father or mom’s boyfriend. These aren’t bad people that didn’t love their children. It is frustrating when a baby won’t calm down even though they aren’t hungry, tired diaper is dry, etc. A parent or caregiver may feel like there is something wrong with their baby, something wrong with their parenting. It is hard not to take it personally; but the feeling is that if I am their parent I should know how to fix it. Sometimes despite your best efforts they are going to continue to cry. You are a good parent, you have a good baby.

When a baby is crying check if they are hungry? Tired? Diaper needs to be changed? If none of those, are they too hot, too cold? Are their clothes pinching? Do they have a fever? Are they bored? Try taking a walk, turn on some music, play peek-a-boo, or play with a rattle. If despite the caregivers best attempts to calm baby and they are still crying and you start feeling frustrated, put the baby down in a safe place and take a 5-10 minute break. Do something to help you; breathe, drink a glass a water, play a short game or call someone to talk about frustration or for help. When in doubt, walk out and never shake a baby.

If you have questions or concerns about bonding with your child, depression or depressed  like feelings, stress/frustration with a crying baby please call Karen Harvey at 918-699-0547.

TULSA, Okla. – Due to ongoing community support, George Kaiser Family Foundation announced it will continue to match donations to Emergency Infant Services and The Parent Child Center of Tulsa’s Project East Tulsa: Double the Difference campaign. The foundation has extended the deadline until May 31 and will continue to match dollar-for-dollar up to $100,000.

“These organizations provide essential services that help to break the cycle of poverty for families and children in Tulsa,” said Phil Lakin, board chair and trustee of GKFF. “Due to the overwhelming support, we’ve decided to lengthen the matching grant opportunity until the end of May. We hope that their collaboration serve as a model to be followed by other nonprofit organizations.”

The challenge asks the Tulsa community to contribute up to $100,000 in support of the co-location project, to be matched dollar-for-dollar up to $100,000 by GKFF through the end of May.

Emergency Infant Services (EIS) serves pregnant women and children who are 5 years of age or younger and provides basic essentials, including food, formula, diapers, clothing, cribs and car seats. The organization assists more than 14,000 children each year. EIS has no waiting periods or income qualifiers, operating on the theory that a hungry child cannot wait. Families may come for assistance up to four times in a calendar year.

“Oklahoma ranks in the top 10 for the most children living in poverty, and this challenge grant will help us provide basic, essential services to those children and their mothers in the Tulsa area,” said Tom Taylor, executive director of EIS. “For every dollar that is donated to EIS, 90 cents goes directly to our client services, so we hope the Tulsa community will rally to the challenge to raise $100,000 so that we can take full advantage of this grant opportunity.”

Serving more than 46,000 parents and children last year, The Parent Child Center of Tulsa (PCCT) provides a wide array of services focused on strengthening families to prevent and end child abuse and neglect in the community. Among other services, PCCT offers programs including SafeCare, a voluntary parenting program that offers support and education for pregnant women and parents of children from birth to 5 years old, and Great Beginnings, a voluntary home visiting program that focuses on positive parenting and encourages child health and development.

“Our programs provide essential support for parents to ensure their children are being raised in a safe, healthy and nurturing environment,” said Desiree Doherty, executive director of PCCT. “We hope the community will continue to support us in meeting this challenge grant, which will help us continue to prevent child abuse and neglect in Tulsa.”

The joint location opened in east Tulsa in January 2013 at 9910 E. 42nd Street, Suite 100 in Tulsa. Donations to the Project East Tulsa Fund can be made at the Tulsa Community Foundation or www.tulsacf.org by May 31.

About Emergency Infant Services

Emergency Infant Services (EIS) meets the basic human needs of infants and children through 5 years of age whose families are in crisis or emergency situations. EIS assists more than 14,000 children each year with the basic necessities of food, formula, diapers, clothing, cribs and car seats. For more information about how to help, visit www.emergencyinfantservices.com.

About The Parent Child Center of Tulsa

Serving more than 46,000 parents and children last year, The Parent Child Center of Tulsa provides a wide array of services focused on strengthening families to prevent and end child abuse and neglect in our community. For more information about how to help, visit www.parentchildcenter.org.

About George Kaiser Family Foundation

George Kaiser Family Foundation (GKFF) is a charitable organization dedicated to breaking the cycle of poverty through investments in early childhood education, community health, social services and civic enhancement. Based in Tulsa, Okla., GKFF works primarily on initiatives developed in collaboration with Tulsa-based direct service organizations. For more information about George Kaiser Family Foundation, visit www.gkff.org.

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We were to live stream a few of the speakers earlier today.  Here’s the video, sorry it’s a little shaky.

Speaker Video

Video streaming by Ustream
Click to view slideshow.

Updates Details:

The March Against Child Abuse April 22, 2013 Tulsa, OK (facebook) is Today at the Plaza in front of the Tulsa County Court House.

• 11 a.m. March Begins
• 12:15 p.m. Speakers: Tulsa Mayor, District Attorney, Survivors of Abuse, child abuse experts, and survivors.
• 3:30 p.m. Activities for children – face painting, jupiter jump, bubbles, coloring
• 5:00 p.m. Closing remarks
• 6:00 p.m. March ends

Come any time between 11 am and 6 pm and stay as long as you can. We will meet in the Plaza in front of the Tulsa County Court House. There will be bottles of water, goodie bags for partipants, and local t-shirts for the first 100 people who registered.

(You do not have to be registered to attend!)

Between 12:00 and 1:30 we will have speakers including a child abuse survivor, family members of a victim, the District Attorney, a Tulsa Police Detective, an expert on child abuse, and the Mayor of Tulsa!

At 3:30 there will be activities for children like face painting, coloring, and games.

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The Parent Child Center is proud to be participating in the March Against Child Abuse on Monday April 22nd.

For the first time in American history on April 22, 2013, individuals in over 150 cities and 45 states will join together in national walks to raise awareness of child abuse and crimes against children. Participating cities include Washington D.C., Tulsa, Chicago, Atlanta, Boston, Phoenix, Los Angeles, and Charlotte, along with many others. We are asking all citizens to participate. In Tulsa, we plan to rally in front of the Tulsa County Court House on the Plaza. We will have speakers, signs, marchers, and other activities planned throughout the day.

This is a nationwide effort to unite all child advocates for peaceful demonstrations against child abuse and neglect. We seek to educate the public about this epidemic in hopes that more people will be persuaded to take a stand for the needs of children and prevent further tragedies.

You can find more info on the march on facebook.